


On Top of The World

by Mansaeboysbe



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Great Gastby, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 03:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mansaeboysbe/pseuds/Mansaeboysbe
Summary: Jinyoung had gotten used to living alone in his large house. That is, until you move in next door for the summer. (insp. by The Great Gatsby)





	On Top of The World

**Author's Note:**

> yes it's in first person pls dont attack - Admin Bee

As Father pulled into the driveway of the rental house, I couldn’t help but stare at the giant mansion next door. It had to be at least five stories high, with multiple expansive windows lining the sides of the house I could see. Even when the driveway curved into a lane of tall oak trees, the roof still peeked over the top. The mansion was made of the same brick of the rental house, but it was clear they didn’t receive the same amount of maintenance. There wasn’t a single crack on the large house, and the windows looked like they were cleaned daily. Even now they were gleaming and sparkling in the afternoon sun, causing me to squint as I tried to look at the top of the house without breaking my neck. I started to wonder if the smaller house we’d be staying in was actually an extension of the large estate, something like a renovated servant’s quarters or worse an abandoned stable or something of the like. I wrinkled my nose at the thought and gripped the bag on my shoulder tighter.

I turned back towards the rental house, going to help Father unload the bags from the trunk of the car. I noticed the twins had already run off somewhere, probably off exploring the garden behind the house, and my younger sister was getting the baby out of the car.

“Boys!” Father called, and there was a scrambling of footsteps on the grass. My twin brothers appeared from around the side of the house, already covered in dirt and huge smiles.

“Help your sisters bring the luggage inside and then we can play.”

My younger sister handed the baby off to Father and everyone else grabbed a few suitcases. We were greeted by an elegant foyer right off the bat, a crystal lamp hanging far above us from the tall ceiling. The entranceway was cut in half by a staircase, the kitchen on one side, and a living room on the other. I stood in the entry the longest, gazing at the intricate details in the molding, the floorboards, everywhere. Father announced the bedrooms were upstairs and the younger children were off. He caught my eye and smiled, gazing over the house as I had.

“It’s no Parisian apartment, but it’ll be good for you kids to get some fresh air.”

“Mom would love it,” I commented, still gazing over the intricate details in the wood.

“(Y/N),” he starts, reaching his free hand out to grip my shoulder, “I know you’ve had to take on a lot of responsibility. But this is your vacation too, let me be the parent here.”

I meekly smiled, “Thank you, Father. I’ll try my best.”

After placing a kiss on his cheek, I picked up my suitcases and ascended the winding staircase, taking notice of how smooth the wooden banister was under my hand.

My younger siblings had already claimed their bedrooms, but I didn’t mind when I found the room at the back of the hall. It wasn’t considerably large, but definitely bigger than my room back home. The whole room was colored in cream, except for the mahogany wardrobe and bookshelf pushed against the wall. The room was currently bathed in the afternoon sunlight, creating a soft, ethereal atmosphere. I ran my fingers over the comforter before setting my bag down and continuing to the window. From my room, I could look out over the garden. It was a simple stone patio with a lush green bush of some kind surrounding the whole perimeter. Beyond the patio was a small lawn area full of lush grass, and then a fence stood between the two houses. The fence was covered in large, climbing roses, and I wondered who tended to them if no one lived in the rental house consistently. I managed to turn away from the window, convincing myself to unpack.

Once everything was put away, I joined my family in the garden. The twins were around the front of the house, Father was still inside, and my younger sister and the baby were playing on the lawn beside me. I had brought my sketchbook outside with me and was in the process of adding details to a bird when I heard the baby giggle and my sister squeal.

(Y/N)!” My sister called, and I looked up towards them.

There was a young man kneeling beside them, my sister saying something to him with her finger still pointed at me. I noticed his clothing was unusually elaborate for no obvious occasion, but there was something about his composure that also caught my attention. He had a pretentious air about him, but it contrasted with the genuine smile that brightened his entire face.

I set my drawing book aside and joined them on the lawn, catching the attention of the young man who was now playing with the baby. Something in his expression changed for a moment, but it passed quickly enough that I couldn’t tell what it had been. He stood fluidly as I approached, his balance unfaltering. He gave me a small bow when I got closer.

“I’m Park Jinyoung. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

My sister giggled from her place still on the grass and I gave her a swift nudge with my foot to remind her to be polite.

“I’m (Y/N),” I said, clasping my hands behind my back as I returned his bow, “and you’ve already met my sisters.”

“I’m Mina!” My sister jumped up, standing between me and Park Jinyoung. She was grinning up at him, her usual reserved nature melting away in the presence of a cute boy. Not that I found him cute, I meant my sister had probably developed a schoolgirl crush on him in the small time we’d been introduced. Girls her age did that a lot, but I’d gotten over that stage a long time ago… Anyway, after Mina introduced herself, the baby gurgled and I picked her up off the ground so she could join the introductions.

“And who is this lovely lady?” Jinyoung asked, reaching forward and tickling under the baby’s chin. She gave a squeal of laughter, squirming in my arms.

“This is Ara,” I told him, adjusting the little sunhat on her head so it was no longer hanging over her eyes.

“Hello Mina, hello Ara,” he addressed them individually, each getting their own little bow. Mina giggled and hid behind her hands and Ara cooed, reaching a tiny hand out towards Jinyoung. He laughed a low, airy sound, and took her hand, giving it a small shake. She babbled and let out a large yawn, rubbing her eye with her free hand and snuggling closer to me.

“Looks like it’s time for someone’s nap,” I said, watching Ara’s drooping eyelids.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Jinyoung said, sliding his hands behind his back. I smiled at him and he gave us a small wave before turning and walking towards the other house. We watched him disappear through the arbor in the rosebush fence.

“Mina, does he live there?” I asked as we started to walk back towards the rental house.

“I would assume so,” she bent to grab my sketchbook, reassuming her usual, reserved personality, “He was tending to the roses when I said ‘hello’, so it’s possible he works there.”

I nodded. After putting the baby down for her nap, I returned to my room and looked out the window towards the other house. The windows gleamed back at me, but the curtains inside had been drawn to block out the harsh sunlight. I wondered how the house looked on the inside if the outside was so extravagant and the gardeners so well dressed.

The next time I saw him was the weekend after our introductions in the garden. I was reading in my windowsill when I happened to look down and see Jinyoung tending to the roses again. I closed my book and knocked on the window, catching his attention. Even though I was on the second floor, I was still close enough for him to hear. He turned at the sound and looked around for the source, finally seeing me in the window. He waved his hand, indicating I join him outside. I set the book down and slipped on some shoes before making my way down the stairs.

Father was sitting in the living room, working on his paper when I passed, so I gave him another quick kiss on the cheek before escaping out the back door. I started towards where Jinyoung was working on the roses, feeling the warm air and subtle rose fragrance settle into my skin. My brothers’ yelled in excitement from somewhere on the property, disrupting the serene sound of windchimes coming from next door. Jinyoung looked up from his work and smiled at me, wiping his hands on his apron.

“Good morning, (Y/N),” he greeted, bowing his head slightly. I returned his greeting and turned my focus on the roses.

“They’re very beautiful,” I mused, glancing back towards him, “do you tend to them by yourself?”

He nodded, reaching up to gently feel one, “they were my grandmother’s, and I care for them in her memory.”

“Has your family worked for this house for a long time then?”

“What?” He asked, the confusion in his voice matching his face.

“I’m sorry, I just assumed-” I stuttered, looking his outfit back over. Now that I thought about it… oh god had I just called the young master of the mansion a servant? I silently cursed myself and set about apologizing profusely, but my attempts were interrupted by Jinyoung’s sudden laughter. Eventually, he recomposed himself, taking a deep breath before explaining.

“The apron is a bit much isn’t it?” He asked, slipping it off and dropping it on the ground, “A servant though?” he questioned further, examining his clothes, “(Y/N), you must have seen some fancy butlers.”

“I’m so sorry, Park Jinyoung, I never meant to-” He held up a hand and I stopped mid-sentence.

“First of all, you can call me Jinyoung. Second of all, there’s nothing to apologize for. You didn’t know, and I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with being mistaken for a servant. At least I know I appear hardworking in your eyes.” He joked, smiling at me. I felt my earlier anxieties melt away at his easy smile and relaxed enough to continue the conversation.

“In that case, you live in an incredible house.”

He turned to follow my gaze over his shoulder, looking up at the house too. But his expression was different, bored almost, at the sight of the enormous structure.

“I’ll have to take your word for it, to me, it just looks like the same old house I grew up in.” He turned back to me, now thoughtful, “would you like a tour of the inside?”

I gaped, taken back by the sudden invitation. I hesitated, thinking back to how I had to care for my siblings… but Father’s words came back to me. “Let me be the parent” he had said, and I looked back up at Jinyoung.

“I would really like that.”

~

Paris couldn’t hold a candle to the Park’s mansion. Jinyoung insisted on taking me in through the grand front doors, two heavy, iron structures that opened from the middle for added effect. As we stepped through the doorway, I was astounded by the front entrance. It was a large room with high ceilings and a crystal chandelier that put ours to shame. To our left was a large, winding staircase made of white marble, a circular landing at the top overlooking what Jinyoung called the “main hall.” The landing extended across the adjacent wall, allowing someone to walk to the other end of the room above everyone else. The floors were practically glowing, and I could almost picture the kinds of parties that were held in this very room.

Jinyoung continued the tour by leading me through a curved doorway, into a wide hallway. He pointed out the rooms as we passed them; the kitchen (“with counter space sufficient for three cooks to work at once,”) the large, circular dining room covered in floor-to-ceiling windows (“so you could be surrounded by nature as you dined,”) a washroom for both ladies and men (I toured the ladies’ washroom by myself, but the pink marble sinks and crystal faucets needed no explanation,) and finally the library. Jinyoung was particularly excited to show me this room, and I understood why when he opened the door.

The library had two levels, connected by a staircase similar to the one we had seen in the main hall. The rows of books seemed infinite, and the only wall not holding a bookshelf was covered in windows letting in soft sunlight. I stood speechless at the door until I felt Jinyoung’s hand gently pressing into my back. He began explaining something about their organizing system, but I couldn’t pay attention. These were the most books I had seen in one place at one time, and I was convinced Jinyoung had just introduced me to Heaven.

“You’re welcome to come over anytime, if you’d like,” Jinyoung had stepped closer, calling me back to reality. For the umpteenth time that day, I was speechless.

“Jinyoung, that is too kind, but won’t your parents mind?”

He shook his head, running his fingers along the edge of a wooden end table next to us. There was a small book with a red-ish cover and a pair of glasses resting on the table, waiting for their user to come back and resume their story.

“They’re usually away for work, so it’s just me unless my sisters are visiting.”

“You live here by yourself?” I stepped closer, stopping myself from reaching out and touching his arm.

“It’s a little lonely,” He continued to stare at the table for a moment, but suddenly his expression changed and he was looking back at me with a mischievous grin, “but it allows me to throw some really cool parties while my parents aren’t here.”

“I figured you had to host at least one event here, this house practically radiates celebration.”

I took one final look at the grand room, seriously considering taking up Jinyoung’s offer on coming back to read. As we walked towards the door at the end of the hallway, he spoke again.

“I’m actually having a party later in the summer if you would be interested.” He glanced over his shoulder, catching my eye.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I hesitated, rubbing my fingers on the fabric of my sundress, “I don’t think I’d fit in well with your typical crowd.”

“Nonsense!” He stopped, almost causing me to run into him, “you’re great, you’d get along with my friends so easily.”

I almost declined, but the idea of going to a fancy party was enticing, and Jinyoung was looking at me with a slight pout that made him look really alluring-

“Well, alright,” I said, and I couldn’t help but smile at how Jinyoung’s face lit up. “But I’ll warn you, I’ve never been to a fancy party and I probably don’t have the right things to wear…”

“Don’t worry about that,” Jinyoung leaned forward and placed his hands on my shoulders, “just be yourself, and you can borrow something from my sister's’ closet if you need to.”

The door at the end of the hallway opened to the backyard I couldn’t see from the rental house. Half of the terrace remained covered by the roof, and the other half protruded into the enormous backyard. Tall, stone archways lined with vines separated the two halves of the terrace, creating a grand entrance into the backyard itself. Two sets of stairs lead off, curving around to create a frame for a beautiful fountain at the base. The black wrought iron railings around the edge of the terrace and on the stairs were shining in the late afternoon sun too.

Jinyoung stepped forward, leading us onto the outer terrace. The yard below was what was visible from the rental house, because a line of trees blocked the porch from our house. I saw the rose-fence, the quaint shed located near the arbor that connected our yards, the small stone path leading from the stairs to the edge of the yard in less precision than the rest of the yard seemed to possess. I looked over to Jinyoung, who seemed unfazed by the beauty that surrounded him every day.

“I wish I could look at it the same way, but after 22 years of looking out over the same thing…” his voice trailed off, once again settling into silence.

“Have you ever tried looking at it from a different perspective?”  
“What do you mean?”

I stepped up to the railing, setting my elbows on the cool iron. “Whenever my brothers get bored, and therefore ornery, somewhere, my father challenges them to try and look from a new perspective. He originally said it to be philosophical, but when the boys started laying on the ground to see the world upside down, and it worked, we all took to the method.” I blushed, realizing I had told our new neighbors about how my family lays on the ground in public for fun, but he insisted I continued with the thought.

“Well,” I said, standing up and motioning for him to follow me, “have you ever tried sitting on the steps and looking up backward?”

He didn’t say anything but continued to follow me, even when I stopped halfway down the staircase and sat down.

“Alright, now lean back and look up.”

“(Y/N), I don’t know-”

“Just trust me,” I interrupted him. He sighed and leaned back against the stone, and I waited until he was situated for leaning back myself. From this angle, the stone archways were colossal, the vines weaving up them were untended jungles, and the dark roof stood out against the orangish-sky. I head Jinyoung’s sharp intake of breath and smiled, knowing the message had gotten across.

“It looks so… large. Like we’re miniature people living in a dollhouse.”

I laughed, “it looks like that when you’re first walking in, too.”

We relapsed into silence, but it was comfortable. I let Jinyoung take in his new, upside down surroundings and relaxed in the tranquility; the soft glow of the setting sun; the warm, summer breeze that was becoming cooler as it danced across my face; the soft sound of rustling leaves. If he hadn’t spoken again, I would have guessed Jinyoung had fallen asleep.

“(Y/N), I know that this was a lot to take in, but thank you for also showing me something new.”

I sat up slowly, fixing my hair from its rumpled state. “It’s definitely a beautiful estate.”  
“You’re welcome to come over any time if you’d like. If you ever want to let yourself in through the back door, you know where the library is.”

“Won’t you be worried about me breaking in at any time?”  
“It’s not breaking in if the door is already open to you.”

I felt warmth flood my cheeks again and I ducked my head to my feet crossed under me. I tried to come up with something witty to respond with, but I was almost overwhelmed by his hospitality. I managed a small “thank you”, and luckily a familiar voice came from further in the garden.

“(Y/N),” Mina called from the other side of the fence. I got up and walked towards the arbor, Jinyoung only a few steps behind me. She saw me immediately as we stepped into the connection of our two houses, and she came bounding over when she saw Jinyoung right behind me.

“(Y/N),” she said again, swishing her skirt back and forth as she gazed up at Jinyoung, “Father says it’s time for dinner.”

“Thank you, Mina, tell him I’ll be a minute.”

She ran away, looking back towards us once and giggling. I waved her off, turning back towards the young man.

“Thank you again, Jinyoung, for the tour, and for inviting me over.”

“Of course,” he said, nodding softly, “it’s nice to have such kind neighbors for the summer. And like I said earlier, you are welcome to the library at any time.”

“How about tomorrow at nine?” I asked, a strange surge of confidence washing over me. Yes, I know he said I was welcome any time, but it’s not like I invited myself over to a cute boy’s house every day.

“I’ll be waiting,” he answered quickly, starting to back into his own garden, “see you, then.”

“Until tomorrow!” I called back, turning towards the rental house. I didn’t look back, but I could almost feel Jinyoung’s gaze as I walked away. Father didn’t ask about where I had been or why I was smiling all throughout dinner, but he did make an offhanded comment of “I didn’t think my cooking was that good.” When I got up to my room that night, I couldn’t help but stare out the window at the other house, wondering what its sole occupant was doing. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to wipe that giddy smile off of my face.

I ended up going over to Jinyoung’s house several times that summer. Most of that time was spent in the library, as I tried to read as many books in their collection as possible. Jinyoung was with me regularly; either reading in the armchair beside mine or cleaning. Sometimes I would come in early after a particularly rough morning at the rental house, and he’d make us breakfast.

“Rough morning?”

“Yes.”

“Chocolate chip pancakes?”

“Please.”

We’d eat in the dining room, the morning light filtering in through the windows and casting a soft glow over the table. He understood that I didn’t want to attempt at conversation until I’d eaten, but he always makes an effort to ask how I slept or if I wanted to talk about what had happened. The morning the twins had flooded the bathroom and Father yelled at me for being irresponsible, we walked the inside of the house seven times, Jinyoung allowing me to rant for that entire duration. He was an incredible listener, and I always felt better after talking to him.

I hadn’t noticed how much closer we had become until one day he leaned across the armchair and took my hand, never looking up from his book. At first, I wasn’t even fazed, it was such a natural gesture, but then I became very aware that we were holding hands. I tried not to bring too much attention to myself, but a glance at the clock told me it was almost dinner time. I let go of his hand to put the book back and he didn’t hide the disappointment on his face well.

“It’s six,” I said quietly when I came back from the shelf, “I have to go.”

He nodded solemnly, getting up to walk me back to my house. We walked in silence until we got to the arbor, where I turned back to face him.

“Same time tomorrow?” I asked. He looked surprised.

“You still want to come over?”

I looked down shyly, and then reached forward and intertwined his fingers in mine. “Of course.”

He smiled and squeezed my hand. “Ok then.”

We were standing close together, and I could smell the roses behind us mingling with his cologne. I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, quickly stepping back with a smug smile on my face.

“Tomorrow it is,” I said, letting go of his hand and turning to walk away. I let myself turn back around to look at him, and he was standing in the same spot, watching me with a wide grin on his face. He shook his head and turned to walk back to his house, and I ran into the rental house before I was late for dinner. Father was standing at the window next to the door, ready to greet me when I walked in. I blushed, assuming he had seen everything. He didn’t say anything, he just kept his mouth in a firm, stern line. I shied away from the door, going to wash up.

The next day I was woken up to Father calling my name from downstairs. I got up quickly, not bothering to fix my pajamas or my hair.

“Someone’s here to see you,” he said as I descended the stairs, and he stepped back to reveal Jinyoung standing in our living room. He was dressed in a nice pair of shorts and a sunhat like he was going to spend the day outside.

“Good morning, sleepy,” he said when I entered.

“Did you get tired of me coming to your house, so you came to mine?” I asked, almost interrupting myself with a yawn.

“Actually, I’m here to ask if you would accompany me on a picnic today.”

“Somewhere besides your house? What gives?”

“Just wanted to look at things from a different perspective.” He smiled, sliding his hands into his pockets smoothly.

“Father, can I?” I looked towards where he was still standing by the front door. His arms were crossed across his chest and he had the stern look back on his face.

“I’ll talk to this young man while you go get ready.”

I smiled towards Jinyoung and went back upstairs, quickly getting dressed and ready for the day. I felt compelled to pick out my favorite sundress, and even spent a few extra minutes on my hair than usual. When I got back downstairs, Jinyoung and Father were standing in the middle of the living room, but their voices were too quiet for me to hear what they were saying. I cleared my throat to get their attention, and Father acknowledged that he heard me. He said something to Jinyoung, who nodded and bowed respectfully to him. They both walked back over to where I was standing.

“Have fun, but (Y/N),” Father started, laying a hand on my shoulder, “please make good choices.”

I nodded, resisting the urge to roll my eyes, “Of course, Father.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek before leaving the house, Jinyoung holding the door for me. There was a car in the driveway, and I raised an eyebrow at Jinyoung.

“You drive?”

“Not often,” he responded, unlocking the doors, “but when I need to go to the store, or for occasions like this.”

He opened the passenger door for me and I slipped inside. The interior was black leather and the dashboard looked high tech. Jinyoung slid into the driver’s seat, buckling his seatbelt and then starting the car. We drove down the driveway and got onto the main road, going the opposite direction from where my family had driven in.

“So where is this new perspective?”

“That, my dear, is a surprise.”

I sighed dramatically, leaning back against the seat. The drive was quiet, but I didn’t mind. I watched the scenery rush past us, neighborhoods giving way to the forest. I noticed we had started to drive up a hill, and suddenly the trees disappeared and we were high above the town. I pressed my face closer to the glass, looking at how much smaller it looked from up here. Jinyoung pulled into a parking lot and we got out. I ran towards the railing on the edge of the hill, gazing at the beautiful landscape around us. Jinyoung came up next to me holding a blanket and a picnic basket. He passed the blanket off to me and took my other hand, leading us down a small path off of the parking lot. We walked until we got to the top of the hill, a clearing in the tall forest. We set up the picnic right on the edge of the hill so we could sit and still look out over the village. He had packed breakfast foods: muffins, potatoes, some fresh fruit and vegetables, and a craft of orange juice. We started to eat in silence, taking in the sounds of the wind and the birds around us. A few comments were made, but we were both comfortable with just enjoying each other’s company that a conversation wasn’t needed.

“How did you find this place?” I asked when we had finished breakfast. I was laying on my side, twirling a string around my finger and Jinyoung was still sitting up, sipping orange juice. He set the cup down beside him, gazing at the landscape.

“I came up here with my mom once, and we had a picnic too. I didn’t think about it at the time, but you were right in what you said. The perspective is nice.”

I sat up, leaning back on my hands, “You can see our houses from up here?”  
“Yep,” he said, pointing to a spot below us. I leaned over to him, trying to follow where his finger was pointing. There was a dark house on the outer edge of the trees, and I smiled when I recognized the expansive backyard and the house next to it. From up here, both houses were small, but the mansion still dwarfed the rental house. I sat back again.

“Do you miss her?” I asked, picking up the string again.

He shrugged, “sometimes, but I miss them both. It’s unfortunate they can’t be home during the summer, but it got easier as I grew up,” he paused, looking over to me, “Do you miss your mom?”

“It’s not like she’s gone,” I swallowed, my mouth tasting bitter, “she just… she moved to Paris for her job last year, without us.”

I waited for Jinyoung to ridicule her, but he just leaned forward, waiting for me to continue.

“Mina misses her the most. And I guess I do too, but I’ve been so busy with taking on her role that I haven’t had time to think about it.”  
“Will you get to see her again?”

“Father thinks so, they still send letters to each other every day. He’s a professor at the university near our home, but when he’s done with his thesis, he says we’ll move to Paris to be with her,” I laughed dryly at how much of an empty promise that seemed to be. “We were actually supposed to go there for the summer, but Father decided the countryside would be better for us kids.”

“Well,” Jinyoung said, readjusting to sit on the blanket facing me, “I’m really glad you came here.”

I looked over, staring into his eyes, “yeah, I think I am too,” I smiled, a small blush warming my face.

He started to say something, but instead, he closed his mouth. I watched his eyes flick down my face a little, and the wind started to blow again. My hair was flying in my face and I thought the moment was ruined, but we were both laughing when he leaned forward to tuck the loose strands behind my ear. Now it was my turn to stare at his lips, and I leaned forward to meet him halfway in closing the space between us. At first we were too eager, and as a result, we bumped foreheads, but after laughing at ourselves, he came back to catch my lips again. He tasted like oranges and sugar and everything that was right about the world. He brought his hands up to hold my face and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling us closer together. By the time we broke apart, I had ended up practically sitting in his lap.

Blushing like mad, I felt like running away and giggling like a schoolgirl. But Jinyoung’s arms were wrapped around my waist now, and it all just felt safe.

“Am I allowed to get used to this perspective?” He said, tilting his face down to give me a small, quick kiss.

I rolled my eyes playfully, “You just had to go and use a line, didn’t you?” I got off of his legs and we readjusted; I sat with my legs out in front of me and he laid down on his back with his head in my lap. I started playing with his hair, tangling my fingers in the delicate, black strands, and tilting my face into the warm sun.

“When do you have to go back?” He asked, interrupting the silence.

“Hm?” I muttered, trying to avoid the question.

“(Y/N), when do you have to leave?”

I sighed, settling the hand that was running through his hair against his head.

“We leave at the end of July, so I only have about two weeks left here.”

I heard him sigh softly, and he fidgeted.  
“Do you still want to…”

I opened my eyes and glanced down at him, waiting for him to continue. He was staring off to the side, a distant look on his face.

“If you’re asking if I still want to continue… whatever this is, yes.”

He looked back up to meet my stare.

“What about when you leave?”

I shrugged, “Let’s leave that to closer to then.”

He nodded, looking a little dissatisfied but not pushing the subject further. We sat in the warm, summer air for a while before Jinyoung sat up, proposing that we go back into town before Father got too worried. I agreed, helping him clean up the picnic area. We clutched hands on the way back as if we were trying to hold on to each other, to ensure the other person didn’t fly away and leave the other behind.

A week later, I received a formal, handwritten invitation to Jinyoung’s party. He said it wasn’t anything fancy, just an annual get together he held for his friends at the end of the summer. I was still incredibly nervous, but Jinyoung did his best to constantly reassure me that we would get along well.

We were sitting in the library the day before the party when he put down his book and stood suddenly, taking me by surprise. I hesitantly took the hand he had extended towards me, following him upstairs. He opened the door to one of the bedrooms I’d never seen before, explaining that it was his sister’s bedroom and that I could borrow something from her closet to wear on the night of the party. I guess Jinyoung had told his family about me. We walked over to the walk-in closet, opening the door to reveal a deep hallway lined with clothes.

“Do your sisters share a closet?” I asked, turning on the light and gaping at the clothes in the doorway. There was a shuffling sound behind me followed by a small “no.”

“But,” Jinyoung came past me and went into the closet, “you’re all about the same size so I’m sure there’s something in here.”

“Jinyoung, how fancy is this party?”

He pulled a silver dress out of the closet, holding it out towards me, “it’s a chance for us to dress up really nice and have some fun. It started out as our parents trying to prepare us for future business parties and galas and all that, but now we just us use it as an opportunity to party.”

I laughed, trying to imagine a room full of children in business suits while their parents supervised. Jinyoung passed back another dress, this time a dark blue piece with white dots.

“Are you sure I’m going to fit in? My family isn’t made up of CEOs and lawyers…”

He passed back a third dress, red with long sleeves. He came to stand in the doorway with me.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll do great. Now go try those on.”

I sighed, looking up at him with worry. He leaned down and kissed me quickly, then nudged me towards the on suite bathroom. I tried not to let my shoulders slump, but I was stressing over this party pretty bad. I tried on the blue dress first, and I thought it was pretty nice, but I wanted Jinyoung’s opinion on it too.

“Model it for me.”

“What?”

“C’mon, (Y/N),” he took a seat on the bed, pulling his legs underneath him so he was kneeling, “you’re not going to like any of them if you don’t feel confident.”

“And strutting around in your sister’s bedroom is going to help me feel confident?”

He shrugged, sitting forward. I sighed, giving in. I just couldn’t resist the cocky smile he had on his face. I walked over to the space in front of the bed, doing a small spin and setting my hands on my hips. When I was done, I stared at him expectantly. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, but suddenly he broke into laughter.

“What!?” I exclaimed, throwing up my hands in exasperation. He shook his head, still shaking with silent laughter, and reached out towards me. I stepped closer until he could wrap his arms around my waist and set his head on my shoulder.

“It’s just, you’re adorable, you know that right?”

I blushed, bringing my hands up to rest against his back. I tried to say something back, but I was a spluttering mess. He smiled, squeezing my middle before letting me go to try on the other two dresses.

“I think I like this one the best,” I said, eventually settling on the red dress. He got up and stretched, coming over to help me put the other two dresses back.

“It looks great,” he said once I had come out of the bathroom after changing.

“Could I possibly change over here tomorrow?” I asked, the nerves in the pit of my stomach starting up again, “I would change at home, but it’s so crazy, and Mina would try to help, and I’d have to walk over-”

“(Y/N),” he squeezed my shoulder, “I don’t mind if you get ready over here.”

I sighed, “thank you.”

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked, his eyes flitting over my face.

“I’m just nervous, that’s all,” I shook my head, but I couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey,” he whispered, cupping his hands around my head, “do you want to talk about this?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, hesitating in telling him what was bothering me.

“It’s just, I didn’t grow up in the same lifestyle you and your friends did. I won’t fit in, I won’t be able to keep up with your conversations… I don’t want your friends to think I’m weird, Jinyoung.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, but he smoothed down my hair before speaking, “I’ll be there for you the entire time, they won’t think you’re weird, they’ll think you’re amazing, just like I do.”

I smiled, the tears forming in my eyes starting to subside. “Thanks,” I managed, sighing.

“It’s pretty late, when does your father expect you back?”

“I should probably get going,” I answered, laying the dress out on the bed for tomorrow.

Jinyoung walked me back, as usual, pausing at the arbor between our houses.

“Wait, (Y/N),” he reached out and caught my arm as I turned away. He pulled me back to him, pressing a kiss to my head. “Don’t worry about tomorrow, I’ll take care of you.”

I could only hope he was right.

I went over to the house early the next day to help him set up. He had gone to the store earlier and picked up a lot of snacks, and now we were set about emptying the bags into bowls and setting them out on the dining room table.

Once the rooms had been set up, we both left to go upstairs and get ready. After doing my hair and makeup, I put on the dress and looked at myself in the mirror. The butterflies in my stomach started up again, and I turned away to avoid the nerves from getting worse. I sat on the bed, fiddling with the hem of my dress and wondering if, somehow, I was making a mistake. Who was I kidding? I would never fit in with his friend group.

“Hey,” came a voice and a knock from the door. I looked up to see Jinyoung standing there, dressed up in a sweater. It looked similar to the outfit he was wearing on the first day we met when I had mistaken him for a fancy gardener. I smiled at the memory.

“Hey yourself,” I answered, standing up and walking over to him. “You look really nice.”

“Speak for yourself,” he said, “you look gorgeous.”

I blushed and tried to hide the grin that was slowly creeping onto my face.

“C’mon, people will be getting here soon.” He held his arm out to me and I took it. We went back downstairs, making small talk until the doorbell rang. We both jumped up, Jinyoung smiling back at me before opening the door.

“Welcome guys! Come in, there’s someone I want to introduce you to.”

He opened the door wider and my stomach fluttered with anxiety again. I awkwardly played with my hands as several people filtered in, Jinyoung holding the door for them until they were all inside.

“Guys, this is (Y/N), she’s staying in the house next door for the summer.”

He came back over to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. I smiled nervously, lifting my hand to wave meekly.

“Hi, I’m Jackson,” a boy slid forward with a confident smile on his face, biting his lip. Jinyoung tightened his grip around my waist.

“Anyway,” Jinyoung continued, staring past Jackson, “this is JB, Mark, Youngjae, BamBam, and Yugyeom,” he pointed out all of the guys and turned to the girls, “and Jihyo, Momo, Jungyeon, and Mina.”

I smiled, waving a little to them too. We all moved into the dining room, Jinyoung’s arm still wrapped around me protectively. We got some food, and the party broke into smaller groups to catch up.

“How long have you been here?” A voice came from in front of me, drawing my attention away from where I had been staring at my plate.

I looked up to see a girl, Jihyo I think, leaning against the table and looking at me.

“Oh,” I answered, setting the plate down, “we arrived at the beginning of summer, in June.”

“And how long have you known Jinyoung?” She smiled sweetly, making me feel more relaxed.

I smiled back, “he introduced himself on the first day.”

“Wow, he must have liked you from the beginning. Jinyoung almost never goes outside, for anyone.”

I blushed, “actually, he was working on the roses when my sister called him over.”

“Again with the roses?” She rolled her eyes, and turned towards where Jinyoung was standing with a few of the boys, “Jinyoung, hire a gardener or something, leave the work to the people who need the money.” She laughed and I felt my stomach drop. Jinyoung caught my eye, something almost apologetic in his face.

“Anyway,” I looked back towards Jihyo when she spoke again, “let’s go find the other girls, we should all get to know each other better.”

I nodded and followed her back into the grand hall. The other girls were standing together with two of the boys near the doorway to the hall.

“Look who I found,” Jihyo said as we approached the group. They stopped talking, staring at us as we approached. I got nervous, wondering if we had interrupted something important. However, one of the girls jumped out of the circle to stand in front of me, grinning.

“I’m Momo, it’s so nice to meet you. Jinyoung never tells us about anything.”

I blushed, still getting used to the idea that I was being perceived as someone significant to Jinyoung’s personal life.

“Well, no wonder,” one of the boys added, “did you see the way he reacted to Jackson? He’s obviously protec-”

“Bam!” Momo said, turning to swat at the boy who’d spoken. He avoided the attack and everyone in the circle laughed at their play. I managed to smile, settling my nerves a little.

“So if you’re here for the summer, where do you live for the rest of the year?” A girl asked, leaning forward to reintroduce herself as Mina.

“I used to live in (Y/H), but actually my family is moving to Paris after we leave.”

“Paris?” The last girl asked, who I assumed was Jungyeon, “That sounds so amazing! I would love to live in Paris.”

I smiled, feeling more comfortable, “yeah, my mom’s been there for some months but now we’ll all be together again. I’m excited to see the apartment they got.”

“They’re making you live by yourself?” One of the boys asked.

“No,” I stuttered, feeling my confidence falter, “we’ll all be living in the same apartment.”

“Four people in an apartment isn’t abnormal,” Jihyo interjected from beside me, “not everyone can have a huge house, JB.”

The group laughed again, and I felt my chest tighten. I didn’t want to bring up that it was actually going to be seven people in one Parisian loft bought with a writer/professor budget.

They began discussing what they had done over the summer and everything I had feared was unfolding in front of me. Mina had taken a private jet to her father’s company meeting in Hawaii; Bambam and someone else at the party, Yugyeom, had gone skiing in the Alps for a month; Jihyo had gone shopping in Beverly Hills; and everyone else had spent at least one day on a private boat or airplane going somewhere exotic. At some point they had completely forgotten about me, allowing me to slip back into the kitchen where Jinyoung still was.

By now, my heart was racing and my stomach was twisting. I slowly approached the small group, really hoping I wasn’t interrupting anything.

“Oh, hey (Y/N),” the boy who wasn’t Jackson said, and the other two turned to look at me. Jinyoung was smiling, but when he saw the expression on my face, it fell.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” I asked meekly, staring at Jinyoung and trying not to cry.

“Of course,” he said, immediately coming over to me. He took my hand, holding it tight. The gesture was comforting like I finally had an anchor on something familiar.

“If the others ask, we just stepped out for a second,” he told the other two boys, who nodded. I caught Jackson’s eye and his gaze raked down my body before looking back at my face. I shuddered slightly, pulling Jinyoung out of the room and into the backyard.

Once outside, I let go of his hand and sighed heavily, pulling my arms around myself for comfort. The night was colder than usual, and I shivered as the breeze blew over my skin. Jinyoung held back, giving me some space. I sighed again, turning to face him.

“This isn’t working out.”

He looked confused, “what’s not working out?”

“This!” I threw up my hands, gesturing to everything around us, “Jinyoung, I didn’t grow up as you did. This is my first party, my first summer vacation, heck, this is the nicest dress I’ve ever worn.”

“Where is this coming from?” He asked coolly, his face hardening, “what did they say to you?”  
“They didn’t have to. They were just being themselves, and that’s what doesn’t fit. I…,” I crossed my arms across my chest, “I don’t fit.”

“I’m shouldn’t have made you do this,” he sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

I shrugged, looking towards the rental house.

“I should just go.”

“(Y/N),” I turned my gaze back towards him but I couldn’t meet his eyes, “please stay.”  
“Jinyoung, you just said it yourself, I shouldn’t be here.”

“I said,” he stepped towards me, “I shouldn’t have forced you into this. I never said you shouldn’t be here.”

“They wouldn’t accept me, I don’t want them to think of you any less.”

“Right now, it doesn’t matter to me what they think,” he came up to me and lifted my head with his hands, “You’re all I care about.”

I would have blushed if I wasn’t so focused on trying not to cry. I was suddenly very aware of how little time was left in the summer, how soon I would have to leave this place, the rental house, him. Soon I’d be moving all the way to Paris, and while the thought was once so bright and close enough for me to touch, I didn’t want it anymore. I wanted waking up early in the countryside, eating breakfast made by someone who cared about more than just a thesis paper, spending a whole day in a sunlit library rather than playing the role of parent. I wanted the paradise Jinyoung had been able to create for me in just two short months, and I wanted him there with me.

But it would never work out like that. He would always be so high up on the ladder I could never reach him, no matter how hard he tried to bring me up. I could never give back everything he’s done for me, even if we spent an eternity in each other’s arms. There would always be nights like this, where I would feel out of place and awkward, and I couldn’t put him through this every time.

I had to let go of this dream, even when I wanted to hold to it tighter than ever.

“You’re incredible, but we can’t do this.” I gripped his wrists, pulling them off of my face and settling them between us. My hands shook despite my best effort, but I hope he realized this hurts me just as much.

He held his breath for a moment, staring off into the space between us. I could tell he wanted to argue, but I hoped for both of our sakes, he would just let me go. In a few moments, his wrists went slack and he stepped backward, sliding out of my grasp.

“Okay,” was all he said, still not looking me in the eye. I swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump forming in my throat.

“I can’t thank you enough for everything you did this summer-”

He finally looked up, meeting my eyes.

“The pleasure was all mine.”

I sighed, turning to leave before I started sobbing in his backyard.

“(Y/N),” he said, and I paused without turning around, “keep the dress, it looks better on you anyway.”

A breathy laugh escaped my lungs while I focused on trying not to shake. I refused to turn around, afraid that if I did, I would shatter. I managed a polite “thank you” before quickly running home, getting inside my room before collapsing into silent sobs.

We ended up leaving the house two days after the party, but I never saw Jinyoung again during that time. For once I was glad Father didn’t ask about my mood, or the puffy eyes, or the few extra tears I know he saw slip out. By the time we were all packed up and about to get into the car, I allowed myself to glance over to the mansion. As we drove away, down the long, winding lane, I couldn’t help but ache for the adventure I felt the last time I took this road before Jinyoung and I went up to the top of the hill. The large house, my sanctuary for the summer, still stood tall, but I knew the single person inside of it was broken. I knew I would never be able to forget the boy who lived in the large house all by himself. The boy who gave me books, chocolate chip pancakes, and a new perspective on how different our two worlds were, even when admitting it tore us apart.


End file.
